Once a Southern Boy, Always a Southern Boy
by Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein
Summary: What DID happen to Jasper's southern accent? Nessie's curious, and the story comes out.


"Uncle Jazzy?" asked Nessie curiously. Her voice wavered as I bounced her on my knee.

"Yes?" I asked my niece, brushing her curly hair over her shoulder so I could bend in to kiss her tiny red cheek.

"You're from Texas, right?" she verified.

"Yes," I responded.

"Then why don't you have a Texas accent?" she wondered, cocking her head. I looked at my wife, Alice, and laughed. "What's so funny?" Nessie demanded, crossing her arms, miffed about being left out of the laughter.

"I used to," I told her. "But it went away over time."

"What happened to it?" Nessie seemed drawn into the story.

"I stopped living in Texas, and it faded." I shrugged, glanced into Alice's glinting tawny eyes, and back to Nessie's chocolate ones.

"Oh." Nessie paused a moment, then asked, "Why were you and Aunt Alice laughing before?"

Alice giggled. "Oh, your Uncle Jasper never really was able to get rid of that southern accent," she told Nessie. I shot Alice a playful glare, knowing she was going to tell Nessie the story.

"Go ahead, tell Ness." I sighed out my consent.

Alice grinned. Nessie pulled on the bottom of Alice's shirt in anticipation. "Tell me, Auntie Alice! Tell me, Auntie Alice!" she chanted.

"So, I met Uncle Jasper almost seventy years ago," Alice started. "He had a little bit of an accent then, but by the time we found the rest of the family, it was almost completely faded. You can still hear it a little when he talks now. But, if he wants to, he can take it back to the way it used to sound, back when we didn't know each other. And sometimes" —Alice lowered her voice conspiratorially as Nessie looked at her with wide-eyed concentration— "when you and your grandparents and parents and Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett are all hunting, and it's just me and Uncle Jasper all alone, he still talks to me in his southern accent."

Vampirism took away my blushing abilities, but if they weren't gone, my face would be burning. "Really?" breathed Nessie.

"Mmm-hmm," Alice laughed.

Nessie twisted to look up at me. "Say something in your accent," she commanded.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked her dubiously, stalling for time.

"I don't know. Say, 'I love Auntie Alice and Nessie,'" she suggested.

I cleared my throat dramatically, and told my girls, "I love Auntie Alice and Nessie," in my Jasper Whitlock accent. Nessie giggled loudly.

"I love you too, Uncle Jazzy!" Nessie replied with a grin, throwing her little arms around me.

I glanced up at Alice expectantly. "Well? Don't you love Uncle Jazzy too?" I teased. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Do you really need reminding?" she asked incredulously.

"Frequently," I requested.

Alice sighed. "Fine. I love you too, Jasper. Probably more than anyone has ever loved anyone in the history of ever."

"The history of ever, huh?" I pretended to ponder. "I'll take it." I reached for her small face, put it between my palms, and whispered to her, "I love you more." She leaned forward to connect our lips.

"That's what you think," she murmured against my skin.

Nessie squirmed impatiently. I'd temporarily forgotten she was there, but that happens a lot when I'm kissing Alice. "Go play, Nessie," I told her. "I think Jacob's out back." I helped her off my lap, and she ran off, twice as fast as the average toddler.

I looked at Alice. "Finally alone," she said, reveling. "It took long enough."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I apologized in my Texan accent. "Anything I can do for you?"

"How about you kiss me again?" she asked. An irresistible invitation. So I did. I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

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**i was hanging out with O4TheLoveofBernie in our hellish music class and we were talking about the main reasons we disliked country music. Lili said it was their accents, then i was like, "I wonder if Jasper has an accent!" then Lili goes, "Miranda, you HAVE to write a fanfic about that!" so i did...i spent my hellish gym class (well, tried to at least. Ms. W made me stop.) and my bus ride home writing this. it's just meant to be amazing fluff. **

**this story was originally titled "Once a Southern Boy, Always a Southern Boy." but apparently it's too damn long for fanfiction. so, i stuck with "Southern Boy." sorry.**

**shout out to seashell118, who always makes me feel good about these oneshots, even if they're dark ("Like You," for example) or slightly crappy. and to chocoholic4eva, who holds nothing back, and always manages to make these better. and of course O4theLoveofBernie for the idea. review! lovelovelove, m**

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